Beryl Dulcinea Futtock. Lives in: The Third Home Mid-way Down Pigpipe Street in the Town of Jail. Occupation: Moral Reformer. Comments: At first glance (and indeed, at second and third, too), Miss Futtock might very well seem a typical conservative moralist. From the gray cast-iron helmet of her hair to the rounded edges of her extremely sensible shoes, all about her testifies to her stringent moral crusade to reform the inhabitants of the wayward town of Jail. Nothing is known of her life previous to her arrival in Umbagollah. Despite her ferocious solemnity and reputed uncharitableness, she is often generous to A Fault. (Text submitted on Miss Futtock's behalf by Albert Fault, Professional Blackmailer) Miss Futtock lives in a small tatty slum on the western side of town. Her home has one bedroom, one kitchen, one loungeroom and a bucket in the back garden for ablutions. To find the nearest well, she turns left in the street outside her house and walks forward, ignoring pigs, puddles of filth, streetwalkers, murderers, thieves and feral poultry. The well stands in a small bare patch of earth between a brothel and a cockfighting pit. The house to her right is empty, and the house to her left is occupied by a dung trader named Pinenut Flatley. He is a dirty, vivacious man who loves to discuss the digestive quirks of long-leggity beasties. In addition, he can dance a mean hornpipe.