The Garlic Presser. (Extracted from My Life, by The Thug Mi Ling.) "So i meet a man an he says Heres a thing that explains its history when you use it and i says What purpose is that? and he says Its purpose is to express the process by which it came to be so I says But whats it do? and he says Its a garlic presser. He goes on When you use it it doesnt only press garlic it additionally shows you why it was made by which i mean my own history highlighting the time when i wanted to crush garlic and there wasnt a good garlic presser around. It shows you the mood i was in on that day and also the mood i was in when i finished it an all the moods in between which led to the partikular shape of the handle the depth of the crenellations on the pressing surface and etc. It will demonstrate the way the sun shone while i was being inspired and you will see the history of the materials that went into it for instance see that bit of wood? I said i saw the bit of wood. That came from a tree with a bend in it he said my garlic presser will show you why it bent unnaturally one cold night by moonlight. Its a wonderful story he says. Every time you use it itll show you a little bit more. If you crush enough garlic youll finally get to an understanding of the world because all these things like the sunlight and the mood i was in were inspired by other things which in turn were inspired by other things which in turn were inspired by other things and etc. One day youll get to the bottom of all of it, an yet i lets him go without takin it away from him because if its gonna be that complicated to crush garlic then what use is it anyway i ask you when i and anyone else can use a knife instead?"