One of us must die. The first rays of light fell into my mother’s room and I looked to the old woman. Her eyes were closed and her face looked calm and peaceful. I should not grumble, I thought, it’s really better so. Nobody has the eternal life. Nobody can win the fight against the death. I sighed and looked to the child in my arms. Dian’s face was as peaceful as my mother’s, but there was a difference. My mother’s face was peaceful, because she knew starting struggling was in advance a a labour lost and my daughter, for her it was just the beginning of everything, a life in which she could do so many things. Long ago, my mother was held by her mother like this, I thought. Then it was just the beginning of a life that seemed eternal. “The wind has abated,” my mother spoke slowly. She’d opened her eyes and looked up to me and my daughter. “Is she sleeping?” “Yes,” I answered. I was not sure if my mother heard my soft answer. I was afraid if I said to much, I would burst into tears. I wish I was outside, standing in the sun. Why was I here, inside, seeing my mother slowly fading away? Why did I take Dian with me? “A sunny day, no better day to say goodbye,” my mother spoke wry, “But if They want a life, They will get a life. There won’t be any struggling.” She looked to me and I was surprised at the new fires of energy that I saw blazing up in her eyes. “Let us say goodbye,” mother said. “Can I hold your child for a moment?” “Sure, sure, you can,” I did a few steps to the bed and layed the sleeping Dian in my mother’s arms. Dian awakened immediately and looked curiously to the old woman holding her. “She’s a beautiful girl, Nadja, she has your bright brown eyes.” I didn’t answer, but I felt how tears came in my eyes and trickled down my cheeks when I saw how Dian swayed her head from side to side, soft giggling. It was like she wanted to reassure us, to make our last meeting a pleasant one. “The only one who is smiling,” mother said to Dian, “Sing us a song, Dian, a happy song. I wish I could smile like you at this time.” And to my astonishment Dian started singing, very soft and sonorous, without words. It was a happy melody and I heard how my mother joined in, humming with her old, grating voice. And while they were singing, they started swaying. Slowly my tears stopped and I smiled again. The tears came again later. Mother held Dian in her arms and gave her back to me. Dian was asleep again, her fists doubled, like she was fighting against something. When I took her again, it felt like she was twice her weight. And when I touched her cheeks she was cold, so cold. “Dian!” I whispered “Dian! Is everything all right?” “With me, it is!” mother said. She stepped out of bed and approached me. “Do you mind if I take a stroll? It’s such beautiful weather!” “Mother...” I stammered, “What’s wrong with you?” “Wrong?” My mother laughed. “Nadja, I feel like I’m reborn!” And then she left the room, dancing, jumping, singing as a young, energic child. Child... I looked to Dian again. She was in my arms and didn’t move. I said her name again, but her eyes stayed shut. And when I tried to listen to her breathing, I only heard silence and soft the happy, nearly sarcastic singing of my mother. Collapsing I felt new tears in my eyes. Dian layed next to me, her eyes still closed and her fists doubled. “One of you had to die, Dian,” I whispered. “One of you had to die...” by Samara Jalaya